


It's Going Down

by psychoroach



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Black Sabbath - Freeform, Fluff, Fun, Gen, Humor, Lip Sync Battle, Shirtless Steve Rogers, Song: Timber (Pitbull ft. Kesha), playful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 13:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19013881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoroach/pseuds/psychoroach
Summary: Tony and Steve take their battle to the biggest avenue of them all...Lip Sync Battle.





	It's Going Down

**Author's Note:**

> This literally just came to me and I spent an hour or so writing it up. I don't even know what this is. 
> 
> Read, review, kudos.
> 
> Also I have no idea why the italics aren't working.

LL Cool J came out with Chrissy Teigen, who went over to her DJ spot, grinning manically as the audience cheered. He went around slapping a few high fives, greeting the fans who were there, knowing that they were about to have one of the highest rated shows they'd ever done (and that includes when Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan were on and Channing went full on Elsa). He went over to his mark and let the audience noise die down a little before he spoke. 

"I am LL Cool J and this is Lip Sync Battle." He crowed into the mic. "Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you something, we are in for a treat today. We've had some great shows, we've had a lot of great celebrities to come on, but this one, this one takes the cake. Today...today we have two of the Avengers! Ladies and gentlemen, lip syncing today...Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America, and Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man!" 

A video package played with Steve and Tony smack talking each other, talking about how they were bringing the Civil War (a tongue in cheek term coined by the media during the whole Accords thing) to the Lip Sync Battle stage to finally determine who the better man was.

Once the package was over, the two men stepped out and LL greeted them both and they went and sat down. He talked with them a bit before looking at the audience.

"Who's ready to get this party started?" He crowed. He looked at Steve and Tony. "Gentlemen, who is going first?" 

"Well I think it should be age before beauty." Tony said, smirking as he sipped on his virgin cocktail.

Steve, who was sipping at a beer, smirked as well. "Wait, I'm confused. If we go with age, then yeah, I mean, I have that on you, unless we count how old I..." 

"Let's not fight semantics, that's too difficult." Tony cut in. 

Steve waved a hand at him. "Ok point. But I mean, going with beauty second...I guess you're volunteering to go first, that's so nice of you." 

Tony sputtered, unable to think that Steve of all people came up with that quip and he finally laughed. "Ok, ok, sick burn." He put his drink down. "But I'll let it slide. In fact, I do want to go first. Try not to get intimidated." 

Steve snorted and watched as Tony went over to a piano for his first performance and he sat down. Steve frowned, wondering if Tony could actually play the piano or if it was just a prop. He didn't have long to wonder about it, though, before the song started up. 

_Making my way downtown walking fast_  
Faces pass and I'm home bound  
Staring blankly ahead just making my way  
Making a way through the crowd  
And I need you  
And I miss you  
And now I wonder 

Steve choked on the sip of beer he'd just taken when he recognized the song, and he saw LL beside him almost fall off his stool as Tony started performing. Steve thankfully got the reference, having been shown White Chicks by Darcy who said it was 'not the greatest movie ever made, or the funniest comedy ever done, and actually it's a little bit offensive, but it's literally a meme and a right of passage to at least get the references'. He laughed along with everyone as Tony got into the song, hamming it up as much as he ever did, much to the crowd's happiness, all of them cheering loudly for him.

Once the song was over, Tony got up and bowed with a flourish and Steve raised his mic to his lips.

"Ok, ok, I admit, that was pretty good." He said. "But I mean, forgive me if I'm wrong, but I think I heard something about that being a song from Lilith Fair? Isn't that a women's tour? Was that you getting in touch with your feminine side, Stark?" 

"In fact, it was not." Tony quipped back. "If I wanted to get in touch with my feminine side, I'd go get mani-pedis. Actually I'm due for one of those. When I win, I'm taking my title and going to get one and posting pics on Instagram." 

"That's surprising to literally no one, you post everything on Instagram." Steve cracked.

Tony laughed. "This coming from the man whose Instagram is a literal thirst trap." 

Steve made a face. "I have no idea what that means." 

LL cut in and shook his head. "Man these two have not come to play. This is off to a great start, but Steve, my man, you are up. What have you got for us?" 

"Paying homage to my past." Steve got up and went to the front of the stage.

Tony sat down again and nursed his drink, laughing loudly when a bugle noise sounded out, immediately recognizing the song. He held onto his stomach, trying not to fall off his stool as Steve did his best to make the Andrews Sisters proud.

_He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way_  
He had a boogie style that no one else could play  
He was the top man at his craft  
But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft  
He's in the army now, a-blowin' reveille  
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B  
They made him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam  
It really brought him down because he couldn't jam  
The captain seemed to understand  
Because the next day the cap' went out and drafted a band  
And now the company jumps when he plays reveille  
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B 

Steve ambled over once the song was done, looking far too proud of himself as Tony wiped tears of laughter from his eyes and he sat down with an unusual amount of swagger. 

"Ok, idiot." Tony managed, still giggling wildly. "Dancing monkey indeed. If only the Howling Commandos could've seen that." 

"Seen it, hell." Steve quipped. "They would've been up there performing with me!" 

LL Cool J looked into the camera, grinning widely as he fought not to break into laughter again. 

"Well the first round is done and if I may say so myself, it is a tight battle so far." He said. "We'll be right back for round two, first up, Tony Stark..." 

Tony got up then and made a lewd gesture at Steve as he started ambling backstage, and Steve laughed, flipping him off before Tony could disappear. He wondered what Tony had in mind, as he'd been extremely secretive while they'd been rehearsing for this show. If he knew Tony as well as he did, he knew it would be something incredibly memorable. He was a little scared, and a little anxious to see what he had in mind, and just hoped that what he did could beat out whatever Tony was doing.

They took a long break to set everything up and Steve watched as they built what looked like a garage of some sort on the stage, putting tables and metal parts all over. It had him incredibly curious to know what was going on but he knew he just had to wait. 

Finally they got set up to come back on air and LL spoke into the mic again. "We're back! It's round two and things are bumping up, it's anything goes this round and I have a feeling with these two? It really will be anything goes. First up, Tony Stark." They played a video package of Tony rehearsing and flashes of things in between him talking about his performance and how he was going to 'knock Steve out of the water' and Steve rolled his eyes lightly, a small grin on his face. 

When the music started up, Steve didn't immediately recognize it, but then the double doors at the back of the stage opened up and Tony came walking through it in one of those hokey Halloween adult Iron Man costumes, followed by some older musicians that were apparently performing live along with Tony, who was lip syncing.

"Oh my God, he got Black Sabbath!" LL blurted out, wide eyed as he watched Tony perform.

Steve had to admit, this was incredibly fun, even as he mentally added Black Sabbath to his list of things he had to get caught up on. Tony strutted around stage as best as he could in the clunky costume, holding his hands up, pretending to fire repulsors as beams of light shot out strategically. Steve grinned widely as he watched, rocking out a little bit to the song. 

Once it was over, Tony threw his arm around the guy who sang the song, who Steve couldn't quite understand as he spoke a little bit to LL. 

"Yeah, hey, that's right, who knew they'd come up with a song about me years before I even decided to become Iron Man?" Tony quipped. 

"Oi! Sod off, you fuckin' wanker." The singer shoved at him and Steve held onto his chest, cackling at the look of shock that came to Tony's face, before he started laughing as well. 

It was thrown to commercial and Steve walked over to Tony before he made his way backstage.

"Should've known." He cracked.

"What? You think I wouldn't perform to the song written about me? Please." He waved a hand. "I had to." 

"Seems to me like you stole your title from the song." Steve grinned at him mischievously and darted backstage before Tony could whack him with one of the plastic repulsors on his hand.

Tony sat down, which was pretty awkward actually, and watched as the crew cleaned up the set and started to set up for Steve's performance. He made a face as it was set up, wondering what in the world was going on. They put down a fake black flooring, and a few weird looking hipster looking tables, along with a velvet rope of all things and Tony wracked his brain, trying to think of what sort of 1940s song Steve had come up with to perform to.

He was brought out of his thoughts when LL brought them back from commercial and they played a video package of Steve rehearsing and speaking. It was all chaotic and didn't reveal much, except there were going to be quite a few back up dancers. Tony frowned, wondering if Steve even knew how to dance. 

The song started up and Tony gaped when Kesha came through the double doors with a horde of gorgeous lady backup dancers, all dressed in jean cut offs and low cut tops. Kesha performed to the screaming audience, getting right into her song with Pitbull that was pretty popular in clubs for a while.

_It's going down, I'm yelling timber_  
You better move, you better dance  
Let's make a night, you won't remember  
I'll be the one, you won't forget 

Steve burst onto the stage then, wearing a tan suit with a white shirt and he danced around the dancers, eyeing them up as he started the first rap part.

_The bigger they are, the harder they fall_  
This biggity boy's a diggity dog  
I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off  
Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber 

He stood behind a dancer who bent down, basically grinding her ass in his crotch and Steve sent the audience a cheeky look, while Tony was pretty sure his mind had been blown, because he wasn't capable of any rational thought right then.

_Face down, booty up, timber_  
That's the way we like the what, timber  
I'm slicker than an oil spill  
She say she won't, but I bet she will, timber  
Swing your partner round and round  
End of the night, it's going down  
One more shot, another round  
End of the night, it's going down  
Swing your partner round and round  
End of the night, it's going down  
One more shot, another round  
End of the night, it's going down 

Kesha did the other part to the song, but quite frankly Tony couldn't pay much attention to her, watching Steve dance around with the back up dancers and when it came to his next part, he sauntered through them, because that could only be the word for it, and two of the dancers grabbed at his shirt and suit jacket, stripping it off of him, leaving him bare chested with a tacky gold chain around his neck. Tony really did swallow his tongue then, he was absolutely sure of it.

The rest of the performance went by in a blur and Tony was vaguely aware of LL talking to both Kesha and Steve before Kesha went off stage and Tony ambled over to the other two.

"What do you have to say about that performance, Tony?" LL asked, grinning widely.

"I have no words." Tony admitted, laughing in a self-deprecating way. "I really don't. I will say this, though, I did not think you had it in you, Steve." 

"What can I say?" Steve grinned cheekily. "I'm very competitive." 

Tony burst out laughing at that, since Steve had somehow made it sound weirdly modest. 

"Ok, ladies and gentlemen, you know how this goes." LL said. "Let's see who the winner is. Clap and cheer if you think Tony's the winner..."

The audience did so and Tony grinned at them, soaking up the wild applause.

"Now clap and cheer if you think Steve is the winner." LL called out.

They did so and Steve tried to figure out if he got more cheers than Tony. It sounded pretty close.

"And the winner, of Lip Sync Battle Avengers Edition, is..."


End file.
